The Talk
by DragonsWillFly
Summary: Just another day in the Hanged Man for Isabela and Varric... or is it? Bits and pieces about F!Hawke and Isabela!


**_Author's Note: Just a little something I have been working on for a couple of days. Ran into a bit of a snag with some of my other stories, so decided to write a little something different to pass the time. It isn't exactly different if you have read some of my other Dragon Age 2 stories, but it is something I always love toying with! Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys this little one-shot! I know I had a bit of a laugh while writing it!_**

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Picking up the cup on the table, Isabela brings it to her lips and takes a few gulps before grimacing. "What the bloody hell is this swill? And here I thought that I have tried every drink at the Hanged Man!" Attempting to swallow the foul liquid that had entered her mouth the pirate queen grimaces again.

"Well, you haven't tried everything," Varric says with a smirk as he watches his friend scrunch her nose and shudder. "And it was water by the way... just in case someone asks you if you would want some in the future."

"So that is what it tastes like!" Isabela exclaims before pushing the cup away from her. "I think I will stick to my whiskey from now on." Turning her attention away from the foul concoction in front of her and focusing on the dwarf at the head of the table she speaks again, "So tell me Varric, where is everyone else? And why did you give me water? You know my drinking preferences and water is not on that list."

"I just have to ask you a few questions Rivaini and I want you sober to answer them is all," the man says as he picks up piece of bread from his plate and rips it with his teeth. Chewing slowly as he stares at the woman he lets his mind wander to the reason he decided to knock on the door to her quarters in the tavern in the first place. "You may think you are being subtle, but I can see through your cloak and dagger routine easily."

"What the bloody hell are you going on about, Varric? And can you please get Nora's attention? I think that wench is ignoring me because I didn't tip her last week," Isabela pleads as she watches the dwarf drink straight from the bottle of the Antivan brandy he ordered when his plate of food came earlier.

"I told you, I am not getting you anything more potent than water until you answer my questions, Rivaini!"

"Then ask your bloody questions, dwarf!" the pirate queen shouts. "I am tired of this bloody charade that you insist on having."

"Last night..." he begins with a smirk. "Did you by any chance go to Hawke's mansion in Hightown?"

"Of course I did! We all did! Remember? She had us all go over there because she was sorting out the treasure we found on the Wounded Coast. I would have been bloody stupid if I didn't go, now wouldn't I?"

"But I didn't see you leave when everyone else did," the smirk continues to play across his lips as he leans forward, the food on his plate long forgotten.

Slamming her fists on the table, Isabela awakens the drunk man at the table next to them. "Now I see it! How could I have been so bloody foolish to think that you woke me up this morning to just break fast, play cards, and have a bloody drink? I should have known you were trying to work some sort of scheme into your bloody book about Hawke and me, I just knew it!"

"Hold on, Rivaini. Calm down before Corrf decides to bring Red and her group of guards in here."

Isabela snorts in amusement. "I bet you couldn't get Big Girl in here if Hawke were completely naked... have you seen how Man Hands looks at Hawke these days? I swear you would think that Marian had a steak tied to her leathers."

"Hah!" Varric slams his hand loudly on the table awakening the poor slob at the next table again. "And this is what I was looking for!"

"What the bloody hell are you going on about now?" The pirate asks, annoyance clearly etching her voice.

"You called Hawke by her first name."

"And?! I call you by your first name too, Varric."

"Yes, you do, but you are not sleeping with me."

Picking the cup up again, Isabela mutters into the cup, "I wouldn't even if you paid me." Sipping from the mug, she grimaces, "Bloody hell! I forgot that this was water! Give me your damn bottle, dwarf, before I take my daggers out and give you a bloody reason for Bianca being the only _woman_ you will sleep with."

Smirking again, he slides the Antivan brandy across the table. "You know I heard that. I think you are off your game, Rivaini."

"So what if I am sleeping with Hawke?" the pirate says with a shrug as she lifts the bottle to her lips. Taking a big gulp, she sighs as she feels the burning heat of alcohol trail down her throat. "It isn't like it is a big secret, you know. I think the only person who is oblivious to the whole situation is Aveline, but that doesn't matter. She thinks that our leader is the pillar of honesty. She doesn't realise how many laws Hawke actually breaks in one day nor does she realise how interesting the sex is with a woman like Hawke."

"That good, Rivaini?" Varric asks with a smile.

"Maker, you have no idea, Varric," Isabela says with a grin. "Not that you would ever find out anyway, she's not into men."

"Good enough to keep you from the Blooming Rose if the rumours are true."

"Rumours? What rumours?" Isabela questions as she steals a chicken leg from the dwarf's plate.

"Oh, you know..." he pauses as he reaches for the bottle and takes a sip. "Since the brothel is so close to the Merchant's Guild, one is able to hear the gossip of the whores. Violet misses you, you know."

The pirate queen rolls her eyes and tries to wave Nora over to the table. When the waitress ignores her, Isabela huffs and then stands up from her seat. "Dammit. I will be back. If we are going to have this conversation, I needed to be truly besotted."

Varric takes another bite from the piece of bread on his plate and grins as he watches his friend walk to the bar and speak with the barkeep. After a few seconds, the dwarf stares back at his plate and wonders if this tiny interrogation was such a good idea in the first place. Moments later, Isabela returns to the table with two pitchers of ale, a bottle of Orelesian wine, and a bottle of rare Antivan brandy on a platter.

"How did you manage to get all of that, Rivaini?" Varric asks, his mouth watering at the sight of the two bottles.

The swashbuckler shrugs her shoulders as if it were nothing and replies, "You just have to know where Corrf stashes all the good stuff is all."

"You mean you didn't pay for this?"

"Oh, I paid for the two pitchers, but while his back was turned, I decided to sneak round back and nick the two bottles off of him." The pirate smirks as she looks towards the bar. "If anyone asks though, tell them you popped off to your room and brought them down."

Varric stares at her dumbfounded. "Then drunken thieves will break into my room when we aren't here!"

"Then they will be sorely disappointed then, because you don't have shit to steal, Varric, because I have already looked!" Isabela retorts with a laugh then quickly sobers when she sees the death glare the dwarf was giving her. "Okay, then tell them that it was a gift from Hawke that I remembered was stashed away in my quarters."

"Won't they try to rob you then?" the dwarf inquires as he reaches for the Orelesian wine.

"I don't care," she says with a shrug. The pirate pours the ale into a mug and quickly downs the contents. "My valuables aren't here anyway, I keep them at Marian's."

"Aha!"

Rolling her eyes at her stupid mistake, Isabela quickly backtracks, "Look... I do not keep them there because I want to, Hawke told me that I could use one of the safes in her mansion so no one could rob me while we are out on one of our many adventures through Kirkwall. Because, look around... you and I do not exactly live in the safest place in the city!"

"Rivaini..." Varric looks squarely at the woman in front of him. "Do I look like I give a damn where you keep your treasure, you could hide it in your corset for all I care."

"Then why the hell did you say 'Aha!' like you discovered the biggest bloody haul in your life?"

"You said Hawke's first name again!" the dwarf exclaims as he raises the bottle again and smirks. "Do I need to start keeping tabs on how many times you say Hawke's first name while we are talking?" Varric asks before taking a large gulp of wine.

Isabela places her hands on the table and stares at her friend. "Is there an actual reason for you to continue down this road or is it just stupid game that you stupidly decided to play to test my patience?" She pours herself another mug of ale starts to drink while waiting on Varric's response.

"No. No game," the dwarf replies as he leans back in his chair and places his feet on the table. "I just want you to start realising how much you are in love with Hawke."

Instantly he is doused in ale as Isabela spits out the contents in her mouth. "What the bloody hell, Varric!" she chokes out as she still sputters on the alcohol. "Are you trying to kill me?" Isabela asks as she wipes her mouth and stares daggers at the dwarf. "Or better yet... do you have a death wish?"

"It was just a friendly observation, Rivaini," he says as he stands up from his chair and wipes the ale off his jacket. Walking away from the table towards his quarters, he stops momentarily beside the pirate. "You need to realise it soon, Rivaini. Otherwise, you might lose her to someone else. Then where would you go from there?"

Staring at the empty chair that once held Varric, Isabela lets what the dwarf said sink in with sigh. Shaking her head as she tries to clear the whole conversation out of her mind, she thinks, _'Bloody hell... where does he even come up with these ideas?' _She shakes her head again and then grabs the once forgotten bottle of Antivan Brandy. _He is an arse. _Isabela thinks to herself as she allows the bottle to touch her lips. As she tips back the bottle to let the warm spicy liqueur flow down her throat and rolls her eyes. _How could he ever think I am in love with Marian?_

Her eyes widen as she slams the bottle down onto the table causing the drunk at the next table to jerk again and fall from his chair. _Bloody hell... he can't be right... can he?_


End file.
